Time in the astral realm has a variety of behaviors and characteristics. Different parts of the astral realm often experience time in different ways and have different ways of measuring it as a result (see list of time systems). Time in the astral realm can speed up, slow down, go in many directions, and change shape. Because of this, it can be very difficult to plan and order events in the astral realm. This wiki tends to use [INSERT TIME SYSTEM]
Astral time to earth time converter:
Time in the astral realm behaves in 6 different modes, as shown below:
It is to be noted that there is a difference between random and chaotic time. While chaotic time appears random, in reality, the output is dependent on the initial conditions. As Teal Grass Lysol put it in their book Time: What the fuck is it and why did it just make me hard?:
"The difference between chaos and randomness can be confusing. Imagine a fat juicy sausage. You may want to eat this sausage, however it can not be eaten because your father just ran it over with the lawnmower. Chaotic time works in a similar fasion, in which the sausage will always be run over because your dad is vegan and wants you to be vegan too. However, in random time, your dad is a bandwagon and switches diets on a dime depending on what's trending on twitter. Last week he was paleo, then halfway into the diet he became keto and now he's living solely off of saltine crackers, which is supposed to boost his "saline vibrational lattices". Random time is like the weird guy at the train station who pays girls to slap him or like the sausage cart beefweller big man honker bonker."
Many tools have been used to measure time throughout astral history. For example:
Time measurment was regarded as an impossible task for a large portion of astral history. Since time moves in such irregular ways and was not constant or uniform throughout the astral realm, astral cultures often switched time systems sporadically. It was not until the mathematical and scientific discoveries of M. M. Wolfenstein that time measurement was seen as a possibility. From here on, it became a favored topic of research and recreation to attempt to measure time.
Throughout history, many societies have attempted to censor time by hiding the current time in their region from other regions. This was mainly done during war time to prevent the enemy from learning about a region's time and the practices that went on at that moment.
Different systems have emerged to keep track of previous dates and attempt to estimate future dates. Some of the most common systems are:
Time graphing assigns values and events, as described in the methods above, to points in time. Additionally, some time keepers will convert their time system measurements to those of other cultures.
Various astral cultures and religions have given time lots of philosophical significance and attention. For example, many astral relgions assign time to various deities. However, the general connotation with time differs from culture to culture. As some cultures see time in a more benevolent light, others see it in a more malevolent one.
Throughout history, differences in local astral time systems have caused various disputes and conflicts. It is a common trend for conquered territories to adopt the time system of their conquerers, regardless of how time works in each respective location.
Scientifically speaking, time has various causes affecting specific points in the astral realm. For much of the astral realm, a phenomena called Big Alfred's Tea Time governs the flow of time. Big Al's tea time can be expressed in the following formula, in which x represents the temperature of Big Alfred's tea, q the color of the tea expressed in RGB values in a matrix, and c the time since Al's last tea time (which stays constant around 123 pesterings from Dylan the Bald Guy).
Often, mashed potato time is a natural phenomenon used across cultures, regardless of their usage of the natural reference system. Mashed potato time happens when Chug-Chug Pickles sings an improvised soul piece about mashed potatoes.