Cornelis K. Contralto II

Early Life

Cornelis K. Contralto II was/is/will be born. They are continuous. It is said that they emerged/emerge/will emerge out of Lake Eerie (otherwise known as Cornelis C. Contralto) on the second Sunday of the fifth month of the fifth year after the 74th year after a year ending in a prime number. As a child, Contralto II lived in various parts of the American Midwest and Canada, typically around Lake Eerie.

Contralto II first started learning the organ at age 7.4521π years old. They were taught primarily by their parent. They graduated/ are graduating/ will graduate from Lake Eerie International High School.

Musical Career

Contralto II's musical career started/ is starting/ will start when they got invited/ is getting invited/ will get invitted (you get the idea) to a gig at the age of -16. No one knows how they were able to show up to this gig since they would've had to transport an entire organ there. Nevertheless, they showed up and grooved their ass off, impressing a couple talent scouts in the audience. After the gig, the promptly gave Contralto II a deal.

Organ Years

Contralto II singed a five-year contract with Dune Records' 3rd-Dimensional Branch. Over that period, they released the albums Uh Oh! It's Time To Blow On Some Pipes!, Organ Harvesting, asdfghjk, and Organ Harvesting II: Revenge of the Piano. During this time, Contralto II acheived widespread fame and critical success. They were known for their busy touring schedule and unpredicatble liveshows. After their contract ended, they annoucned that they would be going on a two-year hiatus. No one knows exactly what happened to Contralto during this two-year span, but it must've been fucking insane because after these two years, Contralto II dropped 20 albums on the same Godamn day.

DJ Years

In contrast to their first four albums, Contralto's subsequent 20 had little to no organ on them and were dominatted by gabber and IDM influences. Embarking on a tour, Contralto headlined at multiple mass raves and techno festivals in North America, Proto-Europe, Southeast Asia, and northern Australia. These shows were characterized by their large audiences ranging from the tens of thousands to the millions, unpredictable stage antics, and conflictts with various world law enforcement agencies and militant forces over the nature of their shows. Oftentimes, Contralto would have to flee or fight with law enforement mid-show. After ten years, mulitple military engagments, several bans from certain areas (which they often ignored), multiple warnings from the WHO, and a public dennunciation from the UN General Secretary McFlono McFlooneyloo, Contralto II ended their tour in Northern Akadia and annoucned their second hiatus.

Later Years and Death

Lol Contralto's not dead.

Astral Activity

Anyway, sometime during this hiatus, Contralto II gained access to the Asrtal Realm and quickly became a known figure in the Astral arts and music scene. At an unknown date, they signed a deal with Dune Records' 4th Dimensional Branch. The exact details of this deal are unkonwn. Contralto II has only made one known visit back to the third dimension during this time.

Collaborations with Andy 䨺龘

Contralto II has collaborated with many Astral Artists, but one of their most acclaimed collobrations is 𓆥Organywith fellow Astral musician and rapper, Andy 䨺龘. Allegedly, the musicians locked themselves in an unknown recording studio for a month and only came out after "the most bestest, big-dicked album had been born". And indeed it was. The album won multiple awards at the MMC's and is beloved for its pioneering ventures into eldrich rap.

Politics and Activism

Contralto II is known for their support of the Abolish the Police Movement. In their DJ days, they were known to employ varioius forms of sonic warfare against militant groups led by Conservative governments, such as mass earrape, note spamming, and bass overload.

In ____, Contralto II, in an online statement, voiced her solidarty with and support of the protests against the Mothers Against Dimesnional Anomalies Organization. After the group's boycott of Dune Records gained significant traction, Contralto gave a benefit concert right outsdide the headquarters of the organization.

Personal Life

Contralto II is non-binary and uses the pronouns she/her and they/them. In ____, they came out as lesbian, a fact witch was subtly hited at in song titles such as "I like Women", "Men Are Kinda Gross", and "I'm Only Platonically Attracted to Guys Tbh".

Contralto II states that they enjoy hobbies such as craftbrewing (they even produced a limited run of a craft beer with Jason's Distillery, a competitor to Nimesan Sake), stamp collecting (they have collected over 40,000 stamps), knitting (they often knit for fans upon request), tinkering with their organ (Contralto is very secritive about her organ's inner workings), and constructing Civil War dioramas.

Contralto II is in an open relationship with actors Hans Stüffenbottom and The Okefenokee Swamp.

Awards and Nominations

Discography