Supersonic Vacuum Electromagnetic 4th dimensional Quantum Suck Toilet
The Supersonic Vacuum Electromagnetic 4th dimensional Quantum Suck Toilet (SVE4DQST), often simply shortened to Sven, is a toilet used in the astral plane. It can be found in almost all dimensions except for the second and third and all dimensions beyond the 13th. While its appearance is similar to a mortal toilet, Sven uses a quantum vacuum to dematerialize matter (and in some cases thoughts). Though it is unclear where the waste then goes, most people have decided it either is completely removed from existence or is simply rendered in a state of superposition in which all the waste that is sucked in by Sven is in all places in the astral plane at once.
Function
Many physicists including Teal Grass Lysol have attempted to explain the function of Sven although none have come to a full conclusion. The most widely accepted theory is known as T-Theory, and it is improved and expanded every few years.
T-Theory
T-Theory describes that the Supersonic Vacuum Electromagnetic 4th dimensional Quantum Suck Toilet flushes by way of self energy. It is believed that upon flushing, Sven creates an excitation in the quantum field within the toilet bowl (Fig. A). Electromagnetic pulsars then exten these excitations by way of quantum tunneling, creating so-called Q-Rods. These rods then act on the quantum field, causing self energy. This self energy is then converted into force, folding the quantum field (Fig B.). With the field folding in on itself, the shit is then absorbed into the now arising particles as a result of quantum field excitations. The particles cause cause a fission with the dookie, causing a mild excitation in the fabric of the universe. (Fig. C) At this point, the energy of the Q-Rods approaches its quantum vacuum state in which it has almost no energy. In order to regain energy, the rods pull back on the strings in the universe, forming and Q-Knot which bundles the surrounding shit. From there on, it is removed to either a state of superposition or removed completely from existence. Physicists and even infants have not been able to find out what happens from then on (Fig. D).
Two formulas have been created to measure and predict the full vacuum power in Joules that the toilet will have, in relation to its weight of the shit S, the length of Q-Rods Q, the self-energy of the particles E, the number of the Q-Rods R, the average length of the turds λ, and the average temperature of the surrounding space C.
Fullhoser equation (measuring the vacuum power):
Arschlecker equation (predicting the vacuum power as a result of its on effects on the surrounding space):
