Beans

NOTICE: The official Bean Exchange Foundation's bean exchange rate calculator is now up and running!

The bean is the central currency of nearly 75% of all sovereign territories in the Astral Realm. Its abbreviation is ß. It is divided into e^2.333...centz. The bean has several different denominations, including the kidney bean, the lima bean, the black bean, the pinto bean, and the baked bean (not to be confused with the cooked legume). The bean accounts for nearly 97.ø of all the reserve currencies in the astral realm. The widespread usage of the bean across the Astral Realm has attracted both much praise and cricicism frombeanconomists.

History

Before the introduction of a centralized Astral currency in____, different currencies were commony used and exchanged throughout the Astral realm such as pebbles, bananas, dildos, mango hedgehogs, Pebbles the Invisible Girl's recordings, and Shrek Merchandise.

In ___, the economist Sarah Thebean suggested the introduction of a unified form of currency for the astral realm. She subsequently started the Bean Regulation Foundation (BRF) and started collaborating with leaders of regions in the astral realm to introduce beans in their regions. Eventually, the BRF was disbanded in order to avoid a centralized organization controlling and regulating beans. Because of this, there is no organization which produces beans and therefore same beans have been in the beanconomic cycle since their inception. Thebean has stated that if there would be deflation, she will return and produce more beans. How she does this is a mystery. Beanconomists have stated that it is highly unlikely the astral realm will see deflation in the near future or past perfect due to the very high buoyancy and durable latex of the astral realm.

Terminology

Beans are often called "legumes" by many denizens of the Astral Realm. There are also many langauge-specific terms for beans such as GRRRRRRR in Bearish and 01000010 0110011 01100001 01101110 01110011 in binary code. Mönkish has several terms such as *accute screaming* and *aggressive growling*.

Storage

Beans are stored in a variety of devices depending on their individual qualities. The most common storage device is a simple cloth bag or wallet. Cans are also used for baked beans and are given by banks when withdrawing money. For bean sauce, cups and glasses are also used. For large quantities of beans such as someone's account balance, pocket dimensions are used allowing for withdrawl from any bean bank.

Legal Tender

The smallest denomination of bean is the kidney bean, corresponding to 7i centz. The second smallest is the lima bean at 45🤣 centz. The third largest is the black bean at 3. Just 3. The second largest is the pinto bean at 58639 black beans. The largest bean is the baked bean. It's about the size of my dick. It is so large that its true value has yet to be calculated. The bean counters are working on it. An important factor in approximating the value of baked beans is the amount of sauce that comes with the beans. The more sauce, the higher the value. The sauce itself is also valid currency.

Counterfeit Beans

There are many common bean substitutes that astral beings attempt to pass off as offical legal tender. Over the years, this has led many crises of beanflation, and in severe cases, beanconomic recessions. Below is a list of common counterfeit bean substitutes, in order from least to most difficult to distinguish.

jelly beans. These are often easily distinguishable due to their much brigther colors.
peas. Bro what kinda mf thinks peas look like beans. gtfo
green beans. This one gets a little harder because it has bean in the name, but once you get past that any legumy quality vanishes.
skittles. Similar size, weight, and radioactive qualities to regular beans.
M & Ms. Like skittles, except the brown ones look almost identical.
Eminem. Despite not looking like a bean, his impeccable rhyming skills make anyone want to eat him, similar to beans.
nuts. Hah goteeeeeem.
kidneys. Very similar shape, color, and taste to kidney beans.
9-volt batteries. Virtually identical in every way. Similar size, shape, taste, and ionic properties. These pose the greatest threat to the beanconomy currently (current? batteries? get it hahahahahahaha). Astral governments invest million of beans (hopefully real ones) in technology to distinguish 9V batteries. (Authors note: they do this in order to have more beans to get more tech to find more 9V batteries to have more beans).

2 official cans of baked beans next to a 9V battery. Notice the near-indistinguishable similarities.

Value

The value of the bean has fluctuated rapidly throughout its history. Because of this, organizations such as the Bean Exchange Foundation have attempted to document the value of beans over time. The main tool used to determine the exchange rate between the bean and other currencies is the Bean Exchange Foundation's bean exchange rate calculator.