Holy Shit!
Holy Shit! Inc., Ltd., Llc., GmbH is a video game company headquartered in the South Central Asian region of the astral realm. Holy Shit! Specializes in video games, picture games, and mind games.
History
Founded in ___ by businessperson Hoho "Yam Bam" St. Cranberry under the name Vay Be!, the company first specialized in building cars. The company achieved moderate success until the Astral Postal Service, which was using Vay Be! cars at the time, was overthrown. From that point on, the general consensus that "cars are pretty freaking wack yo" started to spread across the astral realm. In an attempt to save their failing business, St. Cranberry rebranded their company to Holy Shit!, believing that an English name would help to increase popularity as English was becoming the most common language in many regions of the astral realm at the time. Shortly after this, however, a group of militant English teachers facing burnouts convinced many people that "english are pretty freaking wack yo", causing a decline in the popularity of English. St. Cranberry became bankrupt and had to sell their store.
After declaring bankruptcy, Hoho St. Cranberry retreated from the public eye. St. Cranberry has stated in interviews that during this time, they spent days at a time preparing ratatouille and Polish leczo because it was the only thing that gave them joy, despite the fact that they experienced several break-ins and ratatouille abductions. One day, St. Cranberry was on a morning walk around their neighborhood when they accidentally fell over the fence of their neighbor's garden into their neighbor's house, through their neighbor's kitchen (where their neighbor heating leczo they had stolen from St. Cranberry, and into their neighbor's living room, where their neighbor's child was playing a video game. Severely concussed and covered in leczo, Hoho St. Cranberry made the immediate logical connection of creating a video game about slicing vegetables. St. Cranberry used all their remaining leczo and ratatouille to pay a team of full-stack developer basset hounds to create Vegetable Slicing Simulator, which became Holy Shit!'s first game.
Video Games
| Name | Description | Image |
|---|---|---|
| Vegetable Slicing Simulator | Holy Shit!'s first game, Vegetable Slicing Simulator was a quick success, with critics lauding the game for its hyper-realistic graphics and intensely relaxing gameplay, in which players must batonnet, julienne, dice, chop, tourné, skin, paysanne, chiffonade, tanzaku, matignon, obliterate, brain slice, audio chop, rip apart, triple chop, microscopic julienne, and brunoise various vegetables within time limits, against other players (via multiplayer), while their cutting board is set on fire, or while in the middle of various natural disasters, depending on the selected game mode (time trial, multiplayer, firey death, survival mode, respectively). New from Holy Shit! Vegetable slicing simulator! Now with 5 new vegetables! Compete in cutthroat head-to-head matches, outslice your opponents! Cucumbers, carrots, foot, lettuce, tomatoes, and less! Dice them! Slice them! Julienne them! Vegetable slicing simulator! |
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| Wii Are Resorting To Violence | A collaboration with the video game company nintendo, Holy Shit! released the game Wii Are Resorting To Violence for the nintendo Wii console. The game is a casual family-style video game featuring 12 deaths. The game was quickly pulled from stores by the Mothers Against Dimensional Anomalies, who bought out all the games, stating that "children should not have the game because uhhhh it's too unsafe or something". Because of this, not much information exists about the game, though it did reportedly sell over 428iπ copies. |  |
LGBTQIA+ Activism
In ___, Hoho St. Cranberry came out as a transgender woman and released "pride versions" of Holy Shit's games, which were functionally the same as the normal versions except free, with everything retextured with rainbows, and for every copy that sold, St. Cranberry donated 5 beans to LGBTQIA+ charity.