Sir Robert Plant

Sir Robert Plant (born Sir Rober Plant) is a musician, Astral Realm gate keeper, and spiritual instructor. Plant materialized on an unknown planet over 100 years ago and soon acquired a love for jazz music, finding a trumpet in the mud flats on SUZA-12 and teaching himself to play pieces by John Coltrane, Bill Wurtz, and Herbie Hancock by the age of 1.

Dr. Francescoa Huberto

approximately 50 years after his incubaction, Plant attempted to join the Multiuniversal Music Competition in the Astral Realm. Plant had made it to the final round, where he would be competing against jazz musician and trumpet inspector Dr. Francescoa Huberto. Shortly before his performance, Sir Robert Plant's trumpet broke. Huberto, a trained trumpet inspector, came to his aid and fixed the trumpet. The two decided they were "bigger than the competition", (which may either be a comment on their moral or on their metaphysical size, some stating that Plant has take the form of a 75-meter palm tree) and they started a band, known as the Sir Robert Plant Duo. With the later addition of more musicians, the band became known as the Sir Robert Plant Quintet.

Sir Robert Plant Quintet

Looking for more musicians to aid in the creation of their first album, Huberto and Plant chose to add Rickyticky Bobbywobbin and Dr. Shrimp Puerto Rico to the group, forming the drums and piano players of the group, respectively. It is believed Secret Agent Randy Beans was also a member of the group, playing the saxophone, later being removed from the group due to his terrorist affiliation, although there are no confirmed sources for this, and it is often believed that the group believed the interstellar snare drum to be the 5th member.

Addition of Secret Agent Randy Beans

When the group was still known as the Sir Robert Plant Quintet, the group had released 4 successful albums and were touring through Bosnia and Herzengovina by way of astral projection. Secret Agent Randy Beans was tasked to scout out the quartet by a rival band in order to find out which songs the quartet was going to release and steal said songs.

On the final day of the Bosnia and Herzengovina tour, Beans was hiding behind the stage and tripped over a wire. Seeing this, the quartet threatened to report Beans to Space Interpol. They offered to keep things silent as long as Beans joined the quartet. Secret Agent Randy Beans obliged, forming the Sir Robert Plant Quintet.

Opening of the Portal

Shortly after the Bosnia and Herzengovina tour, the quintet was having trouble coming up with ideas for their next album. Rickyticky Bobbywobbin suddenly played a lick on the drumkit, unlike anything the band members had heard before. As Bobbywobbin continued to play, a portal tore open the walls of the studio. Kenny G materialized, telling the band "My children, you must spread jazz far and wide throughout the land and use this one melody, this divine melody of" Kenny G proceded to play the single greated melody in all of space time. Plant instinctively pulled out his trumpet as Kenny G played his multidimensional melody and joined in. Suddenly, the record label CEO Cranjis McBasketball entered the room, offering to give the band 2 million dollars if they manage to release the song. The band obliged, creating a worldwide selling hit, known as "mmm sexy noodle soup"

The Noodle Soup Tour and Conflicts with the U.S. Government

Following their newly acclaimed fame, Paul Johnson offered to collaborate with the band. The quintet and Johnson went on a tour, known as The Noodle Soup Tour, touring to all the major music venues of the world, from Myanmar to Croatia to Niger to Lesotho. As this tour was taking place during the height of the cold war, the U.S. Government hears of the success of the quintet's collaboration with communist Paul Johnson. Due to this, the Government hired Martha the dog, to stop them.

One day, as the band is walking around Papua New Guinea after another show, Bo crosses paths with them and asks how they will settle their dispute. Plant says they will have a battle of the bands, because "who cares about political ideology when the music is bangin'". The United States Navy Band arrived with their trumpet and trombones and honkydonks. The Sir Robert Plant arrived with their jazz instruments and weird made up color scales and 50 cubic foot fender amplifiers on two separate aircraft carriers in the middle of the atlantic ocean. Huberto starts by playing a chord on his fender stratocaster, sending ripples across the ocean. Subsequently, one of the saxophone players from the U.S. Navy Band plays a little doodleedoo, which was also really something. 

The members of the quintet look at each other, communicating telepathically. The band starts to play giant steps. The triangular modulation is so intense, it creates tsunamis and forest fires. The whole world begins to crumble due to the harmonic complexity. The members of the quintet form a 5 pointed star, each member playing in a different key and differentr rhythm, creating a polyphonic, polyrhythmic harmony. The triangular modulation overlaps, creating a pentagram. Right above it forms a giant thunder cloud. Thunder strikes the aircraft carrier, spawning none other than Kenny G. He play a blues scale so beautiful that it parts the water between the two aircraft carriers. He walks to the Navy Band which is frantically trying to save their reeds and instruments from corroding and bending.

Hopelessly, the Navy Band surrenders to Kenny G. They all kneel down and pray to their new god. From then on, Jazz was made the best kind of music by the U.S. Government and Paul Johnson and the Quintet were labeled as national heroes. The official religion of the world became Jazz.

Sir Robert Plant Discography